Toby Messer, NCPS
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who blends practical, evidence-informed methods with deeper, analytical exploration.
About Toby
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who blends practical, evidence-informed methods with deeper, analytical exploration. He focuses on helping people make changes that feel meaningful now, while also looking at the patterns that shape thoughts and behaviour. With 11 years of experience, Toby offers calm, direct support for a wide range of concerns including stress, anxiety, depression and trauma.
He uses cognitive behavioural tools to help people notice and change unhelpful thinking and habits.
Background and approach
He also draws on acceptance and commitment ideas to help people commit to values-driven action when feelings are difficult. Attachment-based work helps him investigate how early relationships influence current bonds and expectations. Sessions tend to be collaborative and goal-focused.
Toby listens for what is causing distress and then works with the person to set small, achievable steps. He explains techniques clearly and checks that they make sense for the person’s life and situation. Many people come with relationship strain, grief, sleep or eating difficulties, or struggles with identity and intimacy.
He also supports those facing addiction, chronic health problems, caregiving stress and the fallout of trauma and abuse. Toby is based in the United Kingdom and works in English. He holds the credential NCPS and has practised for over a decade.
Online sessions are available in video calls, phone sessions, live chat or text-based messaging, and international clients may be supported. Getting started involves a short matching questionnaire and scheduling through the site.
Details from the counsellor's public professional profile · registration number listed
← Browse all counsellorsRegistration
| Body | Registration number | Expires |
|---|---|---|
| NCPS | NCS15-01812 | August 2026 |
Registration details are as listed on the counsellor's public profile. You can check any number with the registering body.
Sessions and payment
Sessions are held online through our partner platform, by video, phone or messaging depending on the counsellor.
Cost Costs are shown on the partner platform before you commit. If cost is a concern, ask about reduced-fee options.
Focus areas and approaches
Everything Toby lists on their public professional profile, in their own terms.
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- Self esteem
- Depression
- Addictions
- LGBT
- Family conflicts
- Trauma and abuse
- Intimacy-related issues
- Eating disorders
- Sleeping disorders
- Parenting issues
- Anger management
- Career difficulties
- Bipolar disorder
- Coping with life changes
- Coaching
- Compassion fatigue
- ADHD
- Abandonment
- Aging and geriatric issues
- Antisocial personality
- Attachment issues
- BDSM, kink, and alternative sex culture
- Blended family issues
- Body image
- Cancer
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Chronic pain, illness, and disability
- Codependency
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Control issues
- Coping with natural or human-caused disaster
- Dependent personality
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Dissociation
- Divorce and separation
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Eating and food-related issues
- Emptiness
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Fertility issues
- First responder issues
- Forgiveness
- Gender dysphoria
- Guilt and shame
- Hoarding
- Hospice and end-of-life counselling
- Impulsivity
- Infidelity
- Isolation / loneliness
- Jealousy
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Veteran and Armed Forces Issues
- Money and financial issues
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Narcissism
- Obsessions, compulsions, and OCD
- Panic disorder and panic attacks
- Paranoia
- Personality disorders
- Phobias
- Polyamory / non-monogamous relationships
- Postpartum depression
- Post-traumatic stress
- Pregnancy and childbirth
- Process addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Self-harm
- Self-love
- Sex addiction
- Sexual assault and abuse
- Sexual dysfunction
- Sexuality
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Trichotillomania
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
Ways of working Toby names
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centred Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
- Existential Therapy
- Jungian Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Solution-Focused Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Systemic Therapy
Naming an approach is not evidence of training in it. This directory copies what each counsellor lists and does not check training records.
Approaches that translate well to online therapy
Toby uses a mix of trauma-focused work and cognitive behavioural approaches. Trauma-focused work aims to help people process the effects of difficult experiences and reduce distressing responses. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps people identify unhelpful thoughts and habits and replace them with more effective behaviours and coping strategies.He also uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help people live according to what matters most, even when emotions are hard. ACT focuses on noticing thoughts and feelings without being driven by them, and on building actions that reflect personal values. Together, these approaches can address symptoms and the patterns that keep problems going.
Finding the right mix of methods is part of the work. The therapist will discuss goals, preferences and practical needs, and then decide together which tools to try first. Sessions are collaborative and adapted as progress and challenges become clearer.
Online therapy offers practical benefits for many people. Video calls allow face-to-face conversation; phone sessions work well when bandwidth or camera use is limited. Live chat and text-based messaging suit brief check-ins, ongoing support between sessions or people who find writing easier than speaking. These options make it simpler to fit therapy around work, caregiving and travel while still using the therapeutic approaches described above.
Frequently asked
What concerns does Toby commonly help with?
Toby works with a wide range of issues including stress, anxiety, depression, trauma and abuse, grief, relationship and intimacy difficulties, sleep and eating problems, addiction, ADHD and career or life transitions.
What is his therapeutic style like?
He blends practical, skills-based work with deeper exploration of patterns. Sessions are collaborative, goal-focused and aim to produce clear, usable steps between meetings.
How much experience does he have?
He has 11 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and has supported people with a broad range of emotional and behavioural concerns.
What credentials and location are listed?
He holds the credential NCPS and practises from the United Kingdom.
Are sessions offered in other languages or internationally?
Sessions are offered in English and he supports international clients.
Which session formats are available?
Therapy can be delivered through video calls, phone sessions, live chat or text-based messaging to suit different needs and schedules.
How are fees and payment handled?
Cost varies with location and therapist availability; sessions use a subscription model that can be cancelled at any time.
What steps are needed to begin therapy?
To start, select the Start Therapy button, complete a short matching questionnaire, and then schedule sessions according to therapist availability.
More counsellors who work with Stress, Anxiety
See all
Kathryn Taylor
BACP
12 years in practice
Experienced counsellor with workplace insight
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship
- Self esteem
Lucy Nicolaysen
BACP
6 years in practice
Trauma-informed, attachment-focused counsellor
- Relationship
- Family
- Trauma and abuse
Matthew Bridge
BACP
3 years in practice
Compassionate counsellor for trauma and stress
- Stress, Anxiety
- LGBT
- Relationship